Neurodiversity on Women
How to Recognize and Support Neurodivergent Women
Neurodiversity builds on the concept that human brains are naturally diverse and that neurological differences, such as ADHD, autism, dyslexia, and others, are not disorders but variations of “normality”.
However, not everyone is aware of this perspective, and many neurodivergent people face stigma, discrimination, and misunderstanding in society. This is especially true for women, who are often underdiagnosed or misdiagnosed with neurodivergent conditions. This can have serious consequences for their mental health, self-esteem, and quality of life.
Why are women under-diagnosed with neurodivergence?
There are several reasons why women are less likely to be diagnosed with neurodivergent conditions than men.
Some of these include:
Gender stereotypes and biases
Many people, including some professionals, have a fixed image of what neurodivergence looks like, based on male-dominated research and media representations.
For example, ADHD is often associated with hyperactivity and impulsivity, which are more common in boys than girls.
Autism is often seen as a male condition that affects social skills and communication, while ignoring the sensory and emotional aspects that may be more prominent in girls. Dyslexia is often mistaken for laziness or low intelligence, especially in girls who tend to excel in verbal skills but struggle with reading and writing.
These stereotypes and biases can lead to missed or delayed diagnoses, or misdiagnoses with other conditions, such as anxiety, depression, or even bipolar disorder, or borderline personality disorder.
Gender socialization and coping strategies
Women are expected to conform to certain norms of behavior and appearance that may not suit their neurodivergent traits. For example, women are expected to be organized, attentive, cooperative, empathetic, and nurturing. These expectations can put pressure on neurodivergent women to mask their symptoms and adapt to the neurotypical world.
Starting from a young age girls often face a world with more demands from peers and adults in comparison to boys of similar age. They are expected to share, take turns, be more compliant and attentive. Boys will be boys is still a very normal attitude when correcting behavior of young boys.
Early on girls may develop coping strategies such as overcompensating, perfectionism, self-criticism, avoidance, or dissociation. These strategies may help them survive in the short term, but they can also cause stress, burnout, exhaustion, and low self-esteem in the long term. They can also make it harder for them to recognize their own needs and seek help when needed.
Lack of awareness and education.
Many women are not aware of the possibility that they may be neurodivergent until later in life. They may have grown up feeling different or misunderstood, but without a clear explanation or validation for their experiences. They may have internalized the negative messages they received from others or themselves about their abilities and worth. They may not have access to accurate and reliable information about neurodiversity and how it affects women differently than men. They may also face barriers to diagnosis and treatment due to cost, availability, or stigma.
How can therapy support neurodivergent women?
Education and information on neurodiversity.
We need to update our knowledge and understanding of neurodiversity and how it manifests in women. We need to challenge the stereotypes and myths that surround neurodivergent conditions and recognize the diversity within the spectrum.
In therapy you will learn to understand that being neurodivergent is not a flaw or a defect, but a natural variation of human brain development.
You will learn to treat and see yourself in a respectful and empowering way.
Validation to your experiences and emotions.
Your stories and feelings will be heard without judgment or criticism. The difficulties and the societal expectations you have faced due to neurodivergence will be acknowledged.
Your pain, frustration, confusion, anger, shame, guilt, or fear will be empathized and acknowledged. We will study your emotion and the sources, and accept what has happened and learn to deal with it or let go of it. You will get reassurance that you are not alone or crazy or broken.
Help to identify your strengths and interests.
You will discover what you are good at and what you enjoy doing. We will recognize your talents, skills, passions, hobbies, values, goals, and dreams. You will learn to celebrate and embrace your achievements and successes. You will get encouragement to pursue your interests and passions without fear of failure or rejection.
Teach you coping skills and self-care strategies.
You will learn to develop healthy ways of managing your symptoms and challenges. We will go over and find effective ways for you to handle tasks such as organization, time management, prioritization, problem-solving, communication, assertiveness, mindfulness, relaxation, and self-compassion. You will learn to create a supportive and comfortable environment that suits your sensory and emotional needs. You will also learn to establish a balanced and flexible routine that includes physical activity, nutrition, sleep, social interaction, and leisure. We will set realistic and attainable goals for you and monitor your progress and outcomes.
